Just Who is This MHN for Short Anyway?
I've realised that in the course of a month or so, I haven't actually "written" many posts. They've been "personality" tests and pretty pictures. Do I no longer have the desire to let you into my soul? No. Do I have no more to say? No. Am I just drawn to the quick quips that define my inner being? A little. Am I just excited to put a pretty picture up on my blog? Sometimes.
I'd like to think that I'm a mystery to some people. Who is this "seemingly" sane person? Is she just a Christian or a Sinner?
Lately, I've been in another funk. Yelling way too much and being way to harsh with the fam. I'm falling deeper into my own bit of despair. I still have hope that God will bring me out of it. I just need to humble myself before Him and ask for His help. I guess I'm doing that now, even though I'm sharing this with you. I know He's listening and saying softly in my ear, "Come to ME my child. I AM not angry with you. Come to ME and I will help you be who you are truly to be. I love you and you are MY child. I sent my Son for you, take His hand. He will lead you through the fire and take you to the beautiful green grass with the morning dew still fresh upon it. Let ME love you, let ME speak through you, let Me guide your waking and sleeping and let ME make you WHOLE."
MHN for Short is a person who falls short of what she is to be, but still has hope for a future and love for my fellow humans who inhabit this earth, this place that the Creator has made for His children.
I'd like to think that I'm a mystery to some people. Who is this "seemingly" sane person? Is she just a Christian or a Sinner?
Lately, I've been in another funk. Yelling way too much and being way to harsh with the fam. I'm falling deeper into my own bit of despair. I still have hope that God will bring me out of it. I just need to humble myself before Him and ask for His help. I guess I'm doing that now, even though I'm sharing this with you. I know He's listening and saying softly in my ear, "Come to ME my child. I AM not angry with you. Come to ME and I will help you be who you are truly to be. I love you and you are MY child. I sent my Son for you, take His hand. He will lead you through the fire and take you to the beautiful green grass with the morning dew still fresh upon it. Let ME love you, let ME speak through you, let Me guide your waking and sleeping and let ME make you WHOLE."
MHN for Short is a person who falls short of what she is to be, but still has hope for a future and love for my fellow humans who inhabit this earth, this place that the Creator has made for His children.
posted by M at 10:08 PM
8 Comments:
Whoa.. girl.. I could have written this post myself! I think we are feeling the same funk my friend. I too am yelling way too much, and being too harsh on my poor dear husband.
Read my post from just a moment ago on my blog! LOL...
Hugs my friend and you have my prayers!
Thanks to you both. I think I'm extra stressed because of the money issues. Also, I haven't had time without Owen for a very long time. He and I are grating on each others nerves. It's not that he's being naughty, it's that he's being a loud and slightly obnoxious 4 year old. He's also started his "negotiation" phase. I'm sorry, I don't negotiate with children. I barely negotiate with adults. So this phase is killing me. I hope it passes soon. Thanks again for the kind words of support and the prayers. I love you ladies!! m.
I know how you feel, I detest money issues, yet they always seem to surface!
And I know for sure what you mean about Owen, My boys do the same thing..and I always tell them I do not bargain and this isn't "Lets Make a Deal"
Do you remember back when we would do the same to our parents?
Mom, I will take a bath, or clean my room after I watch this show OK?
Boys!!! Give them an inch and they want to be a ruler! hahaha
I didn't even realise he was doing it until one of the playgroup moms mentioned that her kids are doing it too. I don't know how my mom put up with me. Oh wait, yes I do. She was hooked on valium. Not an option for me. Even if I could afford the drugs, I wouldn't take them. I guess blogging is my escape. Could be much worse. And actually, the boys is a good boy, it's just that he's a "mini-me"! Haha! Jokes on Michelle! She got one just like her! Damn those Mama curses!
Howdie there Michelle. Not being a Christian myself, I find it difficult to comment on this. However my understanding of the faith is that God loves people because of their imperfections. So long as you're trying your best for your family and yourself, that's the main thing. I don't know your situation, but I'm pretty sure that you love your family dearly and, believe me, they'll know it. We used to have a really stressed-out household when we were kids - lots of screaming and shouting from parents, and it could be horrible at times. But all the time, we always knew that we were loved and there was never any doubting it.
Draw strength from your faith, but don't expect it alone to draw you out of your current state of mind. On the other hand, don't berate yourself for not being perfect because nobody is and nobody is expected to be. Try to do what you do well more often and take time out to relax with your loved ones as much as you can. Your family can be a great source of strength too, look to them.
Jeez, I could be a bloody priest if I wasn't an atheist.
Thank you so much for your kindness Tina. You'd be a mighty fine priest indeed! :-D I do know that Owen knows I love him and I do apologize when I overreact and make sure that he and Dave know I'm sorry when I get "out of hand".
If we can just get through this next year and get the car paid off and some of these bills paid down, I'll be better. Also, the boy will start kindergarten next year, so I'd probably be able to get a part time job, although I'm hoping that the singing lessons will take off. I just need a few more students, then things will even out.
I know in my head that this is not a permanent problem, it just feels like it. Thanks for your comments. It totally made me feel better. Love ya Cakesniffer!!! m.
It'll happen. Money worries are awful, aren't they? Always when we were young, the arguments were directly related to the fact that my folks were struggling with cash - it's terribly when you just want to enjoy your family.
I'm currently working 60-70 hour weeks and finally killing off debts that have been with me for about 6 years. At least I have the luxury that I have no ties and few responsibilities, so I can give up time for extra work.
You'll be fine, stick with it.
Working those kind of hours are definitely rough. They were easier when we were in our 20's. Dave is working those kind of hours now. Sometimes 7 days a week. Owen is starting to show the strain. He really misses his Daddy. Hopefully, you won't have to work those hours for very long.
Our dream is just to load up the car and drive away somewhere and just go see the country, then go from there. We had a 13 day driving trip 2 years ago and it was the best!
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