Southerness
Wish that I could say that I came up with this, but alas, I didn't.
Enjoy it anyway!
Y'all listen up now you hear..!!
Southernness
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie
fit and a conniption fit.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is,
... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not
a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a
pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They
might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot
fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's
trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between
"right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down
the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with
the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a
verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ..
and when we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits,
and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a
breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not
like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want
buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities
at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just
say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by
your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage
gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff, .. bless your hearts, I hear
they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived
here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front
porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I
could."
Bless your hearts, ... y'all have a blessed day.
Enjoy it anyway!
Y'all listen up now you hear..!!
Southernness
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie
fit and a conniption fit.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is,
... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not
a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a
pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They
might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot
fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's
trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between
"right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down
the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with
the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a
verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ..
and when we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits,
and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a
breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not
like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want
buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities
at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just
say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by
your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage
gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff, .. bless your hearts, I hear
they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived
here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front
porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I
could."
Bless your hearts, ... y'all have a blessed day.
posted by M at 7:32 AM
8 Comments:
those are all pretty great, would you agree with them then?
my sister (at least to my knowledge) isn't southern, but she sure does make mess (always wondered what's in it! ;)
Hehehehehe. :-)
I'd agree with them and have done alot of 'em. Oh my word! And of course while I was reading it out loud to my hubby, my general non-descript accent went totally Georgian, bless my own little ole heart!
*wishin' that I had done more with audio blogger*
A 'mess" of somethin' is a whole lot of it. Doesn't matter "what"; just alot of it.
hehe I don't like my sister's mess :( now I'm really wondering what she put in it....dash of arsenic perhaps? hehe
I really wish I could hear your accent...I love me a southern drawl.
Why, thank ya, Darlin'!
my mil makes this dish called "Stuff". It's really good and usually consists of leftovers. My mom makes the same dish, but she calls it "meegers".
Usually, I make tacos then take the leftover meat and make spaghetti sauce out of it and then take the sauce and make lasagna or chicken parmesan to use up the rest of the sauce. That taco meat stretches out at least a week that way.
I have been to Atlanta, but that is the only 'southern' place I have been to. thanks for that
Amen, amen, amen!
I laugh everytime I read this, but the author left off
"I'm fixin' to..." I think that's definitely needs to be worked into the one about "fixin"
And I "catch myself lookin" at stuff all the time!!!
Hey, hope you're ok
Mrs Ship
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