Breakthrough

I've just had what I would call a major breakthrough.

I had had enough of my soup and even though there were only maybe ten bites left, I threw it away. Normally, I would make myself miserable with those last bites, as to not waste the food, which in my mind equals money. I just didn't want to have those extra calories, fat, sugar, salt, etc. in my body.

I'm not turning bulimic or anything, but I'm paying attention to my body when it says, "Hey Babe, you're full. Stop eating." I was always taught to "clean your plate." Mom taught it to me, the nuns and teachers re-inforced it at school. We were all taught to eat your food. I still say it to my son, but then I follow up with, "but if you are full, you can stop eating."

I'm trying so hard to not to teach him to be an emotional eater, the way his father and I are. I've talked to him about it, that food is just food, not love, acceptance or a reward. It has taken me since March to replace food as my comforter. The walking has replaced it, but since I've been off of the walk from being ill, the food is trying to take back its place. It helps to see that my muscles are still in pretty good shape, so that keeps me from binging. Also, the fact that I know just how much work it takes to burn off that fat and make those muscles look so good.

Because I didn't eat much while I was sick, my stomache has shrunk and won't take in near the amount that it once could hold. That was a blessing in disguise. Now I am listening to myself AND taking the appropriate action neccesary to lose the extra 90+ pounds that I have left to get rid of.

Dumping the rest of my lunch and not feeling guilty about it is a first step to putting me first instead of always running dead last in importance. I am important and I'm just sorry that it took me 37 years for me to figure it out.

Update on MHN

Ok. I feel a bit better. Quite a bit better, actually. I'm still coughing, but it's a lighter cough and not as much gughk is coming up and out, mostly because it is no longer being produced. My doc put me on another med on Friday when I went in for the follow up visit.

Currently I am on an antibiotic, cough suppressant, and two inhalers. The last one he gave me was flovent. That one really made the difference, the other one just allowed the chest to loosen up enough to get the junk out of my lungs.

I'm not wheezing near as bad as I was, but right now I just started a major coughing fit, so who knows...

While my mil and I were at the doctors, we decided to weigh ourselves. She's been battling the same 6 ounces for a month now and is pretty tired of her diet; eventhough she's lost 30 pounds and looks terrific!

I weighed myself and I do believe that I have lost a total of 35 pounds. It makes sense because I've gone down 2 dress sizes, but the other day I tried on my "tight" jeans and they were no longer tight! OH MY GOODNESS!!! I might have gone down another size! I just haven't tried a smaller size on yet. Of course, I just bought a mess of clothes from the Lane Bryant catalog. Figures. Oh well, I'll still be able to wear them for a while until I go down to the next size.

It's pretty exciting because I am only, 4 sizes away from my goal size for next years 20th class reunion. I may turn into that "Biker Babe" yet!

Of course, I haven't been able to walk for the last two weeks because I couldn't breathe. Air is one of those slightly neccesary items you need for, I don't know, LIFE! It's more annoying than anything else. I'm hoping to get back to the 5 miles by the end of next week or the beginning of the week after. I'm sure that I'll have to build back up to it, but it won't take me as long as it did the first time.

Thanks for all of the well wishes and prayers. I needed them. I'm allergic to 3 out of the 4 major antibiotic groups, so it can be potentially deadly when I get this sick. Luckily, my doc is agressive in his treatments. I love him!!

Not much else going on. Type to you all soon. mhn for short.

Some Changes...

Well, the first change was Dave's ride.

Then I got pneumonia. Fun stuff... I feel like I'm drowning in my own mucus. It's getting a little better, but the doc isn't so happy. I go back again, on Tuesday. I went in this week on Wednesday & Friday.

I am no longer watching kids in my home on a daily basis. The sweet little baby that I've been watching for almost a year had a feeding tube put in and his mom gave me an option to not have to watch him anymore.

It's alot to have to be responsible for and I didn't feel like I could do it. She said from the time that she was told a feeding tube would be needed that if I decided that I couldn't do it, she would understand.

Now that I've been so sick, it's a really good thing that I gave up that responsibilty. I would have been horrified if I gave that sweet little baby pneumonia. It would have surely killed him.
As usual, God knows what he is doing, timewise.

A really strange thing happened. Pretty much our family has been on an upswing. The hubby put his name in on a drawing at work. Instead of raises, (I guess) they a re giving away big prizes. Well, the hubby won a 32 inch lcd flat panel TV. I've been in shock since Wednesday. He brought it home on Friday and hooked it up. We'll have to get a new entertainment center to hold the thing, but it's really nice.

We've been watching the same 19 inch tv for almost 16 years and were thinking about a new flat panel. They were too expensive for us, so we thought we'd wait until the price went down to $600 for the 27 inch tv's. We waited it out and I'm glad that the hubby talked me out of buying a new tv. Who'da thunk it?

Once again, God took care of us. We are so blessed to have all that we do, materially and the relationships that we have. I truly believe that people are put into your life at certain times for certain reasons. I love you all and hope that you are blessed by knowing me, as I am blessed by knowing you.

Normally, I Don't Pass

These things along and maybe it's the pneumonia talking, but this one touched me. I have a little boy who we have decided to donate his body if he should die. I would like to get a letter like this. Read this and then go hug someone you love. m.




THIS IS BEAUTIFUL .......AND YOU WILL CRY...

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating
room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can
I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make
it."

Sally said, " Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more?
Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"


he surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the
nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the
university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She
ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurs! e cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a
plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to
donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody
else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I
die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his
Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone
else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after
spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's
belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult.
It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings,
and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started
placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly
where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, ! hugging
his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a
folded letter. The letter said:

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever
forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE
YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will
see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you
won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff
to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably
wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and
stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a
neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me
around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are
so cool. I l! ove to watch them fly. An d, you know what? Jesus doesn't look
like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus
himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee
and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that
I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I
already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me
some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think
Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to
you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you
asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was in the same
place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there,
as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To
everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have
to ! give Go d His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the
Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm,
sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all
gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't
stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy
to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from: God, Jesus &Me.

Finally Gave In...

And went to the doctor. I thought that what I had were just allergies gone awry like normal. Nope. I have pneunomia. 3 prescriptions and $90 later, I have what I need to stay out of the hospital. The hubby is off of work again, to take care of me and I'm couch bound (doctors orders) for the next two days. Good night. All My Children, here I come.

Dave's New Ride

Well, we've been talking about this since school started last year. Dave would need something more than a scooter to take him all over this fair, but LARGE metropolis of ours and here it is.


The 2007 Yamaha 650 V-Star Classic.

Enjoy.

Well, I Have a Cough

For the last two or three days I've been coughing. It kept me awake last night and the night before, which means two things:
1. I haven't really slept in 72 hours, AND
2. Neither has the hubby.

I feel really bad about keeping him up, but he said that if it was REALLY bothering him that he would have slept in the office. Aw bless his sweet soul.

When we went out last night, we went to Buca Di Beppo and sat in the Frank Sanatra room. I was freezing! We were right under the a/c vent. Usually, I'm fine under the a/c or a fan, in fact, I prefer it; but last night was a different story. Once we started eating, I warmed up a bit (good old metabolism). When we got home, after a scenic tour of the SW-Side (Westheimer/Montrose, Mecom Fountain) I watched a little of What Not to Wear and Cover Shot.

I heaved myself off of the couch and started getting ready for beddy-bye and the chills hit me hard. I raced as quickly as I could to throw on my nightgown (after having taken some meds) and hop into me bed when I realised that I needed to pee. So it was a trek to the bathroom, sitting under the just started blow of the a/c. I was shivering all over. I took care of my business and ran the whole 5 feet to the bed and hopped in. I didn't even take my glasses off, which meant that I would have to brave the cold air and reach out to put them in their case. I was so cold that I was shivering uncontrollably under the covers. Most nights I sleep without blankets or sheets because I'm so hot natured, but last night I actually asked the hubby to turn the a/c one degree higher.

I think the worst of my fever broke sometime during the night while I was hacking away and tossing and turning. Now it is 6-something in the morning and I'm here talking to you when I had hoped to be sleeping. Oh well, such is life. I do feel a little better this morning and the hubby will be back from class after ten am. I know that I should stay home today, but I have some errands to run, including getting some new excercise shoes for my 5 mile walk, which I have only gotten in 3 days this week.

I feel like a bum. I had planned to get caught up this weekend, but I can't breath deeply without coughing, so I will buy my shoes and hope for Monday. Meanwhile, I am taking my Claritin-D (which I had to register with the pharmacy because of the pseudophedrine), Delsym cough suppresant, tylenol for the fever, vitamins and orange juice. I have to sing solo and a cappella tomorrow morning, so wish me luck!

So Far, So Good

If the boy has a favorable report this afternoon, he will get his sleepover with his Gammie. This has been his first week of "real" school and thus far he has done well. He managed to keep his name clip on the green light, which is very good, while others have gotten theirs on yellow and even the dreaded RED. I guess all of those talks about not letting others lead you to do something you know is wrong, paid off.

It has been nice picking him up from school. The only drawback is that I'm in the car a total of 2 hours 40 minutes per day and that is only to and from school and waiting for him in the carpool lane. If you don't get to the school 45 minutes early in the afternoon, then you are stuck on the street and cars whip around you and people call you the most horrid names and have the most offensive hand gestures towards those waiting. It's much better getting to school early.

Of course, waiting in 99*-100* weather is no picnic, to be sure. I have two large bottles of ice water with me, one for myself and one for the boy. I also bring a snack for him to consume on the 25+ minute drive home and I bring a book to read while I wait. Currently, I am reading "Little House on the Prairie" by Laura Ingalls Wilder. It's a pretty good read.

Whilst driving home, we talk about his day, what he did, what he learned, which new class he attended. So far he says that he likes music and that the teacher is 40% better than me, only because she has two good hands and can play the piano. I am satisfied.

The hubby and I will go on a date tonight, but we haven't decided where to go. I'm sure we will find something diverting to do to occupy our time.

Hey!

Hi Guys and Gals!

Today was the boys' first day of "real" school. He started Kindergarten today and when he got home from playing at his Gammie's, he had a meltdown.

He was SOOOO tired, as is to be expected. He said that he had a good day when we picked him up, but later he said that his teacher was bossy and bossed him around all day. We told him that that was her job; that's what teachers do. I asked him if he got in trouble and I couldn't get a clear answer out of him until after he had his dinner. At first he said yes, but then later he said that another boy really got into trouble and the teacher was just telling our boy what to do all day. I was satisfied with the answer.

He said that he wanted a sleepover with Gammie on Saturday night and we told him that depended on how the rest of the week went and whether he got into trouble with his teacher or he did well. He promised to behave himself and do his best.

Well, here are some pictures that I took with my phone of today and over the summer. Enjoy!


He was waiting with us in the cafeteria for the first bell to ring at 8:05am.


This is the boy being silly for the camera. Big Suprise!! :-D


This is the boy at his new desk. Already working!


It's not really clear but he is admiring himself in his suit that he wore to a wedding this summer when he was the ring bearer for our pastors' daughters' wedding. He asked me before we tried on suits if he needed a BEAR SUIT. We thought it was funny!


He liked wearing the suit because he thought he looked like Taylor Hicks the 5th American Idol winner.


He's sleeping in the car with Sally and Mater!!


He's sitting on a little scoot that looks just like daddy's only in miniature! I'm diggin' it!

height="180" alt="Owen on little green scoot" />
Here comes another one!

I hope you enjoyed that shameless display of parental affection. If it repulsed you, then so sorry, NOT! ;-D

A Year Ago

I remember that a year ago I was totally interested in politics and what was going on around the world. This year, I can't be arsed enough to look at the news, much less get excited enough to write something about it.

I do still have a major issue with being "politically correct". This was and always will be bullocks! Jesus Christ! Say what is really on your mind and if you are an ass and proven wrong by a person with a decent argument for their side of things, then admit your error and move on.

There are so many things that I had a passion for a while back. I have a beautiful cross stitch that I've been working on for years now. I can't bring myself to finish it. I really need to get it done because it is a wedding gift. It's rather embarassing. The couple have been married for a few years and now have a baby. I'm 3/4 the way finished and I want to do it, but other things just seem to get in the way. I am ashamed that it is taking me so long to get this project done. I don't want to just scrap it and not finish it. I like to complete my projects and move on to something else. I just don't know why this one has me so befuddled.

I used to care about the world and all of the causes. Now I'm doing good to get out of bed. BTW: 5 AM walks switched to afternoon and evening walks. Hopefully, those will get back on track after the other baby starts going to her permanent childcare facility.

I am having a really hard time with the fact that the boy will be starting Kindergarten next week. I feel like he is being taken away from me. I know that is completely irrational, but that's just how I feel. He's not even at school yet and I already miss him.

I also have a new voice student starting in a couple of weeks. I know we need the money, but I'm not all that sure I want to teach voice for now. We'll give it a go, but I'm not really looking forward to it. Perhaps that will change once I meet the little girl who I will be teaching.

I don't even want to sing in the choir this year. I always used to look forward to choir season, but the past couple of years have had me drained. The hubby will be working Sundays and choir always sings both services on Sunday. That's really too much for a 5-6 year old child to have to sit through. Also, the hubby will have classes on T-Th. Practise is on Thursday evenings and eventhough I'm sure my mil would be willing to keep the boy while I practise, but I don't want him to have to stay up so late on a school night.

I've been keeping up with the walk because I like what it is doing to my body. If I could get the same results by laying on the couch, you know I'd rather be there. I am mentally drained and just want to sleep for days on end.

Hopefully this situation will rectify itself, but until then I will press on putting one foot in front of the other, just like mom taught us to do.

Yesterday

Ok, for those of you who do not live in Texas, this was tax-free weekend. So we headed out to buy the boy some uniforms for school and while we were at it, underwear and socks, all tax-free. Sweet!

At lunch, I was talking to the mil and we were at a restaurant that the hubby and I used to frequent before the boy. Well, we still go there, but not as often as we used to. Well anyway, I was telling my mil about how it was at this particular chain restaurant that the hubby and I ordered our first meal that wasn't hamburgers. I think that we were 22 and 20 years old. We felt like such adults, paying for our own dinners and not ordering burgers or pizza.

Now remember, I was raised in a town of less than 18,000 people and my husband came from a town of less than 45,000 people. So the most frequented places were like Dairy Queen and Whataburger or the local tex-mex places. Usually, when we went out it was Whataburger or Pizza Hut and on special occasions Hunan Garden and a movie! If we spent more than $13 on dinner that was a BIG DEAL!

I remember that we used to talk about ordering something other than hamburgers, but when push came to shove, we just couldn't deviate from the burger section of the menu. One night while trying to decide what we wanted, we told each other, "Don't order a burger...try something new." Fifteen years later, I don't have an inkling as to what we ordered, but I do recollect being proud that burgers and fries were no where to be found at our table!

We even told his parents about it because we felt so grown up. They giggled with us and told us of their first time not ordering burgers. It was a nice memory.

When I reminded my mil about it, she barely remembered the conversation, which was fine being as we have all slept several times since then. :-) Then we giggled about it again and ordered... BURGERS!

Man, I'm Knackered!

I just started watching another baby in my home, short term. She's adorable! Yesterday was the first real day and I was kept so busy by both babies AND my child that I didn't get my walk in.

So, this morning I woke up at 5 am to take my 5 mile walk and get my shower before everybody got here. I'm totally knackered. I feel like I need a nap.

Of course, it doesn't help that I feel like I'm getting a head cold or the allergies are setting in. Sneezing and sniffing all through the house...