While We Wait...

It sounds so morose, but basically we are waiting for my Bro-in-law Paul to go from life, into life everlasting (as my Pastor calls it). His daughters are visiting him this week. His girls are 22, 21 & 17. The middle one is in the Navy and they have given her a month funeral leave, so she can spend some time with her dad. Friday, Dave, Owen and I are going to spend sometime with the fam in the old hometown. Dave & I will sing our songs for Pablo.

We are going with everybody to my dad's club pool that he belongs to through his work. It's a really nice facility & we all have very fond and happy memories of being together at this place - swimming in the pool, sitting and chatting under the trees, teaching the nieces how to swim, waiting for Daddy to come get us after he'd gotten off from work. Nice memories. I'm glad my sister text messaged me today (3 times). It made me call her back and were able to plan this Fridays' activities. I'm looking forward to this and it should be a really nice visit.

Hope you all had a lovely Memorial Day weekend. Type to you soon. Love, m.

Put On A Face

I don't know if this is the "Southern " way or just my mom's way, but whenever she was asked by anyone, friends, family, etc., "How are you doing?" she'd always reply, "Fine, and you?"

She always taught us girls that people are just being polite when they ask, they don't really want to know how your doing, and for goodness sakes don't tell them if you are not doing well, they don't want to hear it.

So I've spent the last 33-34 years of my life, putting on a happy face no matter if I am or not. Everything is always going well for Michelle! Not!!! (not that bad, but seldom perfect. That's ok too.)

It's only been in the last year that I've learned to let my guard down enough to let other people into my life. This has made my life so much richer. My friends really do want to know how I'm doing, so they will know what to pray for in regards to me and my family. I am much more relaxed than I used to be. Constantly having to put up a front is exhausting!

So occasionally, let your friends in. You might be pleasantly surprised. Love to you all! m.

Before - Philosophical; Now - Shameless

Okay, I've been dealing with some major stuff lately. Now, I'm going to make a shameless plug...

Anyone in the Houston area that would like to have voice lessons or knows anyone who would like to learn a better technique for getting more from your voice either verbally or vocally, please contact me. I can help. I give voice lessons. If you would like to leave your info as a reply to this post, I'll be more than happy to contact you. :-D

The Passing of Time

What a difference a week makes. A week ago, I was hurting because of harbored feelings. I let them go in this forum, thinking they'd never be answered.

Of course I should have known that God would have another plan. They were indeed answered and the healing has begun.

Now, my mind turns to mortality and all else seems silly, stupid; although the way you feel is seldom silly or stupid.

I know that when two people are willing to work out their differences all will be set to right. Life is too short to let the small things become large things.

Let those you love, know how you feel, in a loving manner of course. If you love them, tell them so. If you are hurt or angry, work it out. Do not allow the passing of time to take away what could be great love and learning in your life.

The only way we grow as humans is to love, have loss and learn; then we heal and grow as our Creator intended.

Star Wars Blog

There is this guy who is blogging as if he is Anikin Skywalker. It's pretty cool. Check it out at darthside.blogspot.com. Enjoy. m.

Time

Time is something we all want and never seem to have enough of. Some people have less than others.

I received a text message from my sister this morning. Her husband is dying from complications from diabetes. He's been very sick for quite some time now. He is in end stage renal failure.

Her message stated that he was supposed to be put in hospice and given 2 types of morphine to help with the pain. Of course, the insurance won't pay for hospice, but Kathey (my sister) was able to get them to pay for the morphine. She's so strong. Their family has been dealing with this for awhile, so they have peace about it. They've said their good-byes and are just getting through everyday life now, just waiting.

It's tough for me to watch on the sidelines, not being able to take a more active role in helping. We are too far away for daily help, but we open our house to them whenever they have to come to Houston to see the doctors. I always try to have a home cooked meal for them when they come. Seems silly, but it's something I can do.

Dave and I are learning songs to sing and play at the memorial service, when the time comes. We plan to sing them for Paul and Kathey while he's still with us. We most likely will do that this weekend.

Meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking and we wait.

Wow, I'm a Geek

Who knew that I was a geek? I certainly didn't. Then I thought about the things I like and the books I read. Wow, I guess you could classify me as a geek. I'm actually ok with that.

So I absolutely love Tolkien and have read just about EVERYTHING he's written or his son has had published. I love Star Wars, HP, D&D, acting, choir, computer stuff and other such geeky things.

Hey, who would have thought after 36 years, I'd learn something so trivial about myself???
Oh Well, now I'm off to be a clean geek. Love to ya!!!

The Chest

There are things one lays upon their chest.
There are things that must come off, so you can get some rest.

When you relieve the chest of all the rest, then your life can be it's best.
So, on occasion relieve your chest of all the rest and let your life be it's best.

When you flick the boulder off your shoulder be careful that it doesn't land on your friend.
If it does, in fact, land on your friend; please be kind with them for they may not be with you in the end.

Communication, to the wise, is not a pretense to guise, but the beginning of truth; which from our lips should always come.
Be kind in your choosing, the words which you speak. For it is better to love than to make others squeak.

2nd Time Around, Even Better...

Saturday afternoon, I met up with a good friend of mine to have a Ladies Night, No husbands, No kids. Nice.

We had originally gone to the movies to see "Monster in Law". We bought our tickets, sat down, watched people start to flood in. We both thought it strange that so many people were coming to see this flick. All kinds of people, college guys, kids, older people, well you get the picture.

We're sitting there watching previews and were suprised the movie hadn't started yet, we we're late for a 3:50pm showing.

All of a sudden Lucasfilm, Ltd. came on the screen, people cheered. I asked the lady next to me "Are you hear to see Star Wars or Monster in Law?" "Star Wars", she replied.

The movie had already started and we'd missed half of the other one. We decided to stay where we were. I had wanted to see it again, and Amy had decided that she'd like to see it, but probably would have to wait till it came out on video.

We both thought about mentioning our thoughts to the other, but didn't. God must have taken that out of our hands, because when we checked our tickets after the movie, we were in the right theater, right movie & time. There must have been a glitch in the theater sign or something. Crazy... in a good way! :-)

So Amy and I got to see the movie we really wanted to see and had a great time together and had an extra giggle or two. It's neat how things work out. :-D

A Bigger View

My sis-in-law almost got stuck in a foreign country, without the proverbial paddle- so to speak.

It was very scary for her. This trip to Asia has been pretty rough. When she first got there, while going to the hotel there was a wreck and she saw a freshly dead body in the road. That is horrible for anyone. Then she was stuck in Singapore with a problem with her visa. She did get it handled, but it was very scary for her and could have been so much worse than it was. She's learning a lot about the world and even more about herself and faith and human nature. We are fallible, it's not an excuse, no mater what faith you are, it just is.

Perhaps God is using this trip to teach her the things she needs to know to build her knowledge of Him. Maybe michelle wasn't as far off the deep end as she thought... Oh well, that's not my gig. Please join me in praying that she gets home safely, both to her physical home and spiritual home. Thanks, m.

Well, We did it!

We went to the midnight showing of Star Wars Episode III! It was fantastic! All sorts of people were dressed up in their costumes. We even had Chuwie in our theater. The excitement was so high, it was like nothing I've ever seen before. There was so much going on, we had a light saber fight in our theater room, Princess Leah was there, both in the gold bikini outfit & after years of marriage and several kids (the white robe & cinnamon buns hairdo), OBI and Anikin had a duel. The cops came in to make sure that there wasn't a riot in our room.

I leaned over to my husband and told him that this was the best movie ever! and it hadn't even started yet!

The actual movie lived up to the hype. Hayden Christiansen was as beautiful as ever, so was Natalie Portman. The acting was smoother than the previous film, which for me made it more enjoyable. George Lucas did a fine job answering all my questions. If you haven't seen it yet, go. It's worth the $8.50. love ya! Chelle. p.s. mollo, tell me what you thought of it. :-D love ya! chelle.

Tonight's the Night!

Oooooh! I'm so excited!!!! My husband and I and another couple have a date to see the new Star Wars film at the midnight showing! Yippee! I've never been to a midnight showing of ANYTHING! My husband has been to the midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but that was before we met. So after being together for over 15 years, we are having a new experience together.

Owen will have a "sleep over" at Gammie and Papa's house. I've got choir tonight, but they aren't seating until after choir is over, so that will work out ok. The only real draw back is that Dave has a meeting tomorrow morning at 8:30am. The movie is 2:26 long. Oh well, I guess he'll be drinking lots of coffee.

I'm really looking forward to seeing people dressed up in their Star Wars costumes! I'm bringin' the camera! :-D

Well, I better git. Got chores to do. I'll check back in with y'all Friday or Saturday!

It's Crazy or is it sad...

When I first started to vote, I voted the way my parents did. They were what you would refer to as "Yellow-Dog" Democrats. So , I referred to my self as an "enutero" democrat.

Now that I'm paying my own bills, have a child, study the bible more, I vote differently. For me, the democrat party is no longer speaking to me and the republican party is. Boy, is my Dad ticked about that!

Well, when I met my sis-in-law, I was still voting the same way she did, although I was becoming more conservative in my views. Somewhere along the road to really trying to do what God wants me to, I learned to not be judgmental. Matthew 7:1 says "Do not judge or you too will be judged"NIV. So I've spent the last 5 or so years trying to not judge people or their actions. In Amway, they say "Love them where they are at." So that is the philosophy I have adopted.

So, now that I'm more conservative, I feel like I'm being judged by the before mentioned. She thinks I'm wrong about everything I think, because I don't think like her. She has had gastric by-pass surgery, to save her life, so now she looks fabulous! Good for her! I feel like every time we are together & food is involved, she watches everything that goes into my mouth and by the look on her face, I feel judged. Anytime I have an opinion, she condescends me and treats me like a child; "Yes Michelle, we know how you feel on this subject..." "Whichever one of us is wrong, that person will be forgiven..." Which translates to You're wrong and I'm right...blah, blah, blah... poo-poo on you, Michelle! Her friends are extremely judgmental and openly make fun of any type of mistake or difference you might make or have. It's become so bad for me, that I'm uncomfortable around them. That's why we don't visit with them any more than we do (maybe once to three times a year, including holidays).

I'm sorry if she thinks I'm judging her. Truly, I'm not. I can only go by what God has to say on these different subjects. He has told us to teach, rebuke and correct in a loving manner. Now granted, I know that I'm a little more straight forward than most people like. I figure, why mince words. Make your message clear and this way the meaning won't get lost in the world of political correctness. Don't even get me started on that .Maybe it will be a different post. If I feel so inclined on another day to discuss it. :-)

For the last 2-3 years, when I ask for forgiveness, I also ask God to make me what He wants me to be so I can help to build His kingdom here on earth. It's a dangerous thing to ask the Father, for surely He will do it & if your not ready to submit, then you will be conflicted. At first, I wasn't ready. I didn't really know what I was asking. Now I do, He has transformed me. I'm much more outspoken about His word and what He wants.

She can't handle what I'm saying, so "I" must be wrong because "she" doesn't want to hear it. She's still in the "honeymoon" Christian phase: love, peace, hope... I'm in the "work" phase: let's make sure that if someone is promoting an inaccurate teaching, then gently correct them and back it up with scripture.

I really don't want someone led astray from God, because someone else is trying to have God fit their mold. If you can put God in a box and make Him smaller, then he's not big enough to be my God. My God is big enough to create the ENTIRE WORLD--not yelling, it's just SO BIG. He's planned every tiny detail on a world that's so big, there is no way God can fit in my miniscule box.

I just think it's sad, and my feelings definitely are hurt by her judgments against me. But the Bible also says that if you are hurt because you believe in Christ, then you will be blessed. Hopefully, she'll get more bible study in and learn more. Maybe someday she'll find that I was just trying to do what I was commanded by God. What we are all commanded by God to do. That's my prayer and hope for her and all people who try to make God fit their box. I love you all, whether you think like me or not. m. :-)

If You've Been Reading...

If you've been reading, you know that we've been making life changing decisions in the Neumann household.

I'm almost finished with my resume and have made some business cards. I have found the peace that I was looking for. Thanks Mollo!

Today, while I was sitting through my second church service for the day, I was thinking that I would be so proud for my husband if he did go into the ministry. I think he would be very good at it. He's a really great guy, has a serving heart and a love for the Lord. Of course we must get through school first.

Yesterday, we attended a friends graduation party. He is in his late 30's, early 40's. He took a part time job and went back to school to get his degree and teaching certificate. He inspired my husband to go back to school.

This in turn, has inspired me to finish my degree as well. It should not take me as long as my husband, since I'm sticking to the same degree plan as I did in JR. College (Assoc. in Sociology). Dave will be starting over. He has his Associates in Electronics Technology. Now, he wants to go back for an English degree. He's good at writing and poetry & symbolism, so I think this will be a good fit for him. Then, he'll go on to graduate school, probably in St. Louis, MO.

The only thing I fear is how will we afford it & missing our family. Oh well, God will take care of it. He'll find a way.

Things are Moving Fast Around Here

It seems like in the past 3 or 4 days, things have been moving really fast around here.

My husband and I have been making some major decisions about our lives and it seems to be in motion.

Wednesday night I went to see my voice student and her sister in a talent show. They were very cute and quite good. Their mom introduced me to some of the parents and has persuaded me to apply for the position of choir director at their elementary school. I think it would be a good fit.

Our aunt, who is in Human Resources, is coming over to help me with my resume. It almost feels like it's a done deal.

I'm having some conflicted emotions about getting a job, even though it will be a part-time gig. I feel like I'm abandoning Owen (4 year old son). He's getting so much more independent. I'm sure he could use a break from Mommy. The Lord knows I could use a break too, and well, we need the money.

It would be nice to help supplement the household income. Then Dave could cover all the bills, and I could buy groceries. We might even whittle down those blasted credit cards.

Dave also wants me to go back to school and finish my degree. I have an associates degree in Sociology. So it probably wouldn't take much to finish.

Again, it comes back to the money. You don't make enough money to go back to school and the only way to make enough money to pay for everything is to go back to school. It's a vicious cycle.

I feel like I'm in a whirlwind and I can't get out.

I think these things are happening for a reason. I'm sure God wants me to get out of the house a bit and build His Kingdom outside of my home. Oh well, I will just have to pray for some calm assurance.

Yesterday

Yesterday, I watched as my childhood friend got married. She had her wedding outside in a nursery. It was magical, all the flowers were in bloom, the sun was getting ready to set, yet there was plenty of light streaming through the trees. The atmosphere was almost faerie-ish, the only thing we needed was a mist in the air, but that would have been too surreal.

It was so heart warming to see how happy my friend is. She's had a tough adult life. Come to think of it, her childhood was no picnic either. When she stood up at the front with her daughter, two sons and her intended, it was as if God was finally smiling upon her and her family.

I am so completely happy for my friend. I wish her the best that God has to offer her and her family.

What You Listen to; Says a lot About You

I have recently read an article posted by Mark Mumford. He writes for the SanFrancisco Gazette. He is an extremely liberal writer.

One of his columns was Jesus' Ipod. What do you think would be on Jesus Ipod song list. People came up with all kinds of stuff, Judas Priets, Anthrax, all kinds of hard core metal & gansta rap, a lot of it really offensive, some of it silly & some of it right on.

That started me thinking about what I have on MY Ipod. We've recently had to replace our old PC and CHOSE an IMac G5. Then, my husband got me an Ipod mini for my b-day. We've been putting our CD's on the computer and making mix CD's and song lists for our own use. I was sitting in my cross stitch corner, listening to my music and stitching away when I heard a song on my list that I hadn't listened to in years, SEX by Berlin. I was rather shocked by the content, although I had used to listen to it frequently back in the "day", and I didn't turn it off or skip it. I just let it play out.

Then I started to think of how that song made me feel while listening to it. Not all that great, kind of dirty, not in an attractive way, the next time it came up on random, I skipped it. I will probably delete it when I have it on and am thinking about it. "Self" censorship is a wonderful thing!! :-)

I guess I've changed a lot since having my son. I've been involved in bible study and wanting to do more of what God wants me to do. Most days I do ok, there are others in which I need all the help that my Lord Jesus Christ can spare for this miserable sinner.

I'm always reminded when I read articles of this nature; of when our Pastor talks about being "in" the world, not being "of" the world. Know what is out there, be aware of your world. Also, know the "real truth", God's Word. Know that the only way into heaven is through faith in Jesus Christ our risen, living, savior! We are "saved by grace, through our faith in Jesus Christ. There is no substitute.

Eph 2 :8-9 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast.

Most of the other world religions are works righteous. Be a good person and do no evil and you will get into heaven. Works, good works, are a fruit of the Holy Spirit, living in you, put there by God, in your baptism. God can not work through you unless you have accepted him and His Son a the sacrifice for your sins. His grace is a gift: "God's Riches At Christs' Expense".

We can do nothing worthy enough to earn this wonderful gift given to us by Our Father. He loves us so much, and I feel wholly unworthy of His love, but that's what is so miraculous about this whole thing, I don't have to be worthy in my eyes to accept this gift. I just have to accept it and it's mine. It is yours too, if you will just believe. God wants His Creation, His Children, to come home and have a personal relationship with Him.

He gave us free will, so that we will come to Him freely, not by subjugation, but from love to return to our Father, and let Him love us as He intended. Anything we do that is good, is done because of the love and freedom we feel in our hearts.

People always wonder why this or that person seems so happy; for me it is the freedom to do what I know is right and not having to worry what other people think of me. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I feel like I'm flying, soaring like the eagles, high above the clouds. I pray for you to have that feeling too.

So be aware of what you feed your brain; for most assuredly, that is what will spill forth from your lips.

The Task at Hand

O.K. So my husband tells me, he wants me to work on my advertisement for my voice lessons. So here I am going nearly blind from looking at all the clip art. Oh well, I think I've found a few that will suffice. I just needed a break. Guess I better get back to work.

Hey~ I'm Back.

Well, we have come to terms with our kitty who passed on Thursday. The hardest part was seeing my 4 year old son come to grips with such a permanent concept as death, but better to learn it first from a family pet than from a family member.

He learned some major lessons last weekend. He learned that it is okay for a man to cry. He learned that there will be a time when all of us must leave this world. He also learned where kitty heaven is; right next to puppy heaven, down the road from people heaven.

Well, now we are back to some of our regular activities. We played games with our gaming group on Saturday night. I directed the Sunday School kids at church, they sang "How Majestic is Your Name". They did a great job, especially considering that all of the older kids flaked out on me & didn't show up to sing. Thank God for the little ones, those 4, 5, 6, & 7 year olds did a great job on a not too easy song! They Rocked!!!

So anyway, Monday rolls around again. The week is always off to a bang, being a stay at home mom, the work never ends. Lots of laundry, which I look at everyday and sometimes push through, got to clean up from the weekend mess of hubby and boy, at least get it clean before the girls come over for voice lessons on Wednesday. The boy is A #1 at helping clean up though. I've got to give the puddin' credit for that!

Well, it's getting to be bedtime in the old household. Hope you all had a nice weekend. Goodnight Cyber Space. Sweet dreams.